A couple years ago, a woman called the Orange Police Department and said she wanted to hire a escort for her wedding.
She needed an escort.
But the police told her she could hire an escort for a few more months if she wanted.
So she called me and said, “I’m a real estate agent.
I’m trying to sell a house in this neighborhood.
I just need someone to drive me around.
I can do it.”
I was like, “Whoa, that’s crazy.”
And she said, I don’t know, I just want to get a little more information.
And I told her, “We don’t have any rules.”
But I did have a few other options.
I could have paid for a car or some escort services.
Or I could rent an escort home.
She said, okay, I can rent the car.
And she said I can go to the bank and get an escort, and that’s what I was looking for.
The other thing I could do is get an Uber.
And that’s where I met the first lady.
They called her Mrs. President.
That was a nice name, but she didn’t know who the president was.
I think it was President Trump.
So that was the next step.
She got an Uber, and we went to her house and we got the driver.
She was wearing a very conservative dress and a lot of makeup.
I don-she’s really kind of cool, but her look was very conservative.
I didn’t want to be the only one looking at her.
And then we drove around the neighborhood and we ended up at the house.
And we walked in and I think she was expecting a big wedding party, but we were just here for a little while and she just kind of sat there and we just got on the couch and we sat there talking.
And her husband came up to me and he said, you know, this lady has been waiting for you.
And he had this big smile on his face and he was just happy to meet you.
And then he goes on and says, “So, I’ve been looking for an escort.”
And I’m like, okay.
She just smiled and said thank you.
We sat there for like an hour.
And we talked.
And when he was done with her, I said, how are you doing today?
And he goes, “Oh, I’m good.
I’ve got a job.”
And we went back to my office and I went, “OK, so that’s a very nice thing to say.”
And then I went back and looked at the calendar and I looked at it again.
I said what about tomorrow?
And he goes and looks at the phone and he goes “No, no, no.
I haven’t got any money to give her.
She needs to pay the rent.
She’s got bills.
She has bills.
So I’ll pay the bills and then we’ll have dinner.”
So we had dinner.
And it was really good.
And after dinner, I called her husband and he called the police and he came and he just called the hotel and he brought her a bag.
And they took her to the hotel, and they drove to the apartment.
And my husband said, this is my wife.
I love her.
So he came over and he kissed her on the cheek.
And he told her the story of the time she was waiting for me at the office and he went to his hotel room and he didn’t have a room.
He was in a big hotel room, and I said to him, you’re in a hotel room.
And the next thing I know, he’s in the hotel room with his wife.
And I thought that was kind of funny.
So, he says, you’ve got to get your clothes on.
And this was about a week before he was going to leave for a trip.
So she goes to the closet and he opens up his drawer, and there was his clothes.
And she goes, oh, I never saw this before.
She went to look at the dress he was wearing, and she found this dress that he was not wearing.
And there was this little dress that was underneath the dress that she was wearing.
So then she goes over to the dress and says to him and she says, I love this dress.
And so then she says to her husband, you have to get her dress on.
And so, she goes back to her closet and she’s not wearing the dress.
She says, he didn’ know she wore the dress before.
So now she’s wearing this little skirt.
And on her knees she says she just wants to have her clothes on, and then she puts on her shoes and goes outside and walks around.
And you know what?
The whole neighborhood just started cheering, you can hear it in the streets.
And everyone was like what’s happening?
And so he goes